Review: I Was Here

I Was Here by Gayle Forman
My rating: 4 of 5 stars


After having a few days to let this story sink in, I'm sticking with my original rating of 4. I think I was feeling a little emotionally vulnerable when I first finished it which likely clouded my judgement.

The truth is that I usually stay away from books with such a heavy subject matter - it's not that I'm afraid to read a book about depression, suicide and grief, I just have a pretty good hunch that it's a tricky subject to write about and so I'd rather not chance it by reading a book that deals with it poorly...if that makes any sense. These subjects are dear to my heart and I want to know I'm reading from an author whom I can trust. Anyway I had heard so many great things about Gayle Forman's other books that I decided to give her a try, so this is my first time reading her work.

For me, one of the strengths of this book lies in how well Forman portrays the overwhelming, bottomless grief that comes with losing someone so close to you - especially when it is a young life cut short. I could feel Cody's grief coming off the page, feel her frustration and confusion, her desire to understand her best friend Meg's decision to end her life and in turn her obsession to uncover the truth, any truth, to why she chose suicide.

With each new frightening realization about Meg, whom Cody thought she had known like a sister, she goes through some extremely disturbing and terrifying moments herself, visiting places in the darkest parts of her mind that have her question her own existence and sanity. I loved that Forman went there with Cody, that she has her go through these moments of asking oneself 'what is the point to anything, to life?' and that she allowed Cody to explore those questions that we all, at some point, have asked ourselves. It's such an honest, vulnerable process that we witness Cody going through as she grieves not only Meg but also the person who Cody believed she was, and I really, really enjoyed the sensitivity that went into creating these characters.

The romance involving Cody and Ben did not bother me as much as it seems to have bothered some others. I was a little disappointed when Ben was introduced and right away Cody notices his crazy blues eyes and pretty face - of course I knew that a romance was to ensue but honestly I felt that their relationship developed slowly and realistically enough that I wasn't totally turned off. Despite the road trip that they take together and everything else that happens, I felt that their relationship took more of a back-seat to the bigger picture of what was going on in the book. Their romance felt like more of a tool through which to help both Cody and Ben grieve and heal together, as these things do happen in real life, so again, not such an unrealistic aspect of the story for me.

Overall this was exactly the kind of emotional, sensitive contemporary that I was looking for when I picked it up. I am a convert of Gayle Forman and I'll definitely be checking out other books by her in the near future.


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